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気になる上司との関係を社内恋愛に発展させるためのきっかけ

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入社してから何もわからない自分に対して親切丁寧に仕事の面倒を見てくれる上司はとても魅力的です。そんな上司に好意を持つことはとても自然なことですね。

でも、上司との恋愛を考えた場合、上手に社内恋愛へと発展させるには果たしてどうしたらいいのでしょうか?今回は、上司との社内恋愛のきっかけについて紹介していきましょう。

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まず上司に気に入ってもらう

どんな社内恋愛でもいきなり恋愛関係に持ち込むことは不可能です。そのためのきっかけ作りはとても重要ですが、その前にある程度互いの信頼関係が築けてこその社内恋愛です。そのためにはまず自分の存在を上司に認めてもらうことが前提になってくるといえるでしょう。

そもそも上司は自分の仕事をスムーズに運べるようにする為にも部下との信頼関係を築き、あわよくば仲良くなりたいと思っているものです。積極的に自分から行動を起こすことで信頼関係を築き、いずれは恋愛関係へと進展させることができるようになるでしょう。

上司が男性の場合

見て

これは男女に関係なく言えることですが、恋愛感情を抱く以前に仕事に対してのプライドと責任感を持っていることが大切です。仕事に対して積極的な姿勢は上司の男性の目にもとても頼もしく映ることでしょう。

また、仕事に対する意見の食い違いなどから話し合いになることも考えられますが、このようなときに反抗的な態度はもってのほかです。男性には自尊心が高い人が多く、ましてや上司という立場もあります。自分の主張が正しいと思っていても、正面からその意見をぶつけるのではなくこういう理由からこう考えるのですがという風に説得するような柔らかい物腰で話すことが大切です。

例え自分の意見を尊重する場合であっても、上司からしてみたら自分を立ててくれる人に好感を持つのは当たり前のことです。上司の意見を尊重しつつ自分の意見を理解してもらうようにする事で仕事への熱意や責任感も感じてもらいつつ好感を持ってもらうことにつながることでしょう。

上司が女性の場合

上司という立場になっているという事は、それなりのキャリアを積んできているという事です。そこには強い自信と責任感があることでしょう。

女性が職場での立場を築き上げるにはそれなりの苦労がまだまだある世の中といっても過言ではありません。そんな女性からしてみれば、仕事ができない部下は恋愛対象どころか場合によっては迷惑に感じることもあるかもしれません。

仕事内容を要領よく考えて効率よく仕事ができる人は誰にでも魅力的に映るでしょうし、上司から見てもとても頼りになります。

もちろん、頼りないと感じても不器用なりに一生懸命仕事をしている部下を放っておけないと思ってくれる人もいるでしょうが、実際にはそんな部下を恋愛対象として見てくれる奇特な人は少ないと考えたほうがいいでしょう。

大抵の人は何かと自分を助けてくれる部下のほうが好意を持ってくれるに決まっています。つまり、仕事を確実にこなすことが信頼関係を大きく築くことができて、はじめて社内恋愛の対象として見ることができるようになるのです。

また、恋愛にだらしないと判断されないことも大切です。何人もの女性社員と仲よさそうにしているのを普段から見ていたら、上司は自分にアプローチしてきてもどこまで本気なのかと疑ってしまう事でしょう。異性に対しての清潔感を感じ取ってもらう事も女性の上司との社内恋愛をするためには必要な事といえます。

社内での自分の立場を築く

男性にとっても女性にとっても社内恋愛をする前提として、仕事に対してどれだけ熱意や責任感があるかどうかという事が好感度につながります。

上司という立場から公私混同がないという事が信頼を大きく得ることにつながります。つまり仕事とプライベートの区別がきちんとできているという事が大切なのです。

また、社内恋愛に発展した場合でも、万が一その関係が噂された時の対処ができるという事はとても大切です。上司という立場を困らせないような普段からの立ち振る舞いが物を言うわけです。

仕事で上司という立場の相手に対してプライベートでは対等の関係を築けるかどうかが大切ですから、普段職場で自分をきちんとサポートしてくれるという事がプライベートでの対等な関係にも結び付くのです。

上司と社内恋愛するためのきっかけ

社内での仕事をしていくうえで信頼関係が築けてきたら、いよいよきっかけ作りですね。でも、先ほども説明したとおり公私混同なやり方では上司は引いてしまいますから、互いの立場を踏まえた上での行動が必要になります。

では、具体的なきっかけ作りにはどんなことをしていけばいいのでしょうか?

接点を増やす

まずは、積極的に声をかけることで上司との親密度を上げるといいでしょう。人は普段からよく会話などのコミュニケーションが取れている相手には好意を持ちやすいので、何気ないことでも声をかけることが大切です。

また、仕事でどんなに叱られることがあったとしても、笑顔の絶えない挨拶を心がけていれば、上司は自分に対して人間的に高い評価を持ってくれることでしょう。上司の言葉に対して笑顔で対応してくれていると感じてくれれば、自分のことに好意を抱いてくれるでしょうし可愛がってもくれるはずです。

誕生日を必ず祝ってあげる

自分に善意を持ってくれていると感じたら、それは少なからず嬉しいことですね。それが自分の誕生日をたとえささやかでも祝ってくれているという事であればなおさらです。

何より誕生日を気にかけているという事は少なくとも上司のことを大切に思っていますという意思表示になりますから、はっきりと言葉にしなくても上司に対して自分の想いを感じてもらう事ができるでしょう。

自分を大切に思ってくれている部下を上司が嫌いに思う事は余程のことがない限りありえないことです。さりげなく、それでいて誠実に誕生日を祝ってあげることを忘れないようにしましょう。

仕事以外のことでも相談する

プライベートなことを話せるようになればお互いの信頼関係もいよいよ深くなってきた証拠です。真剣にプライベートな相談に乗ってくれるという事は少なからず自分のことを考えてくれていることになります。

自分のことを考えてもらう時間を増やすという事は恋愛を進展させる大切な方法です。どうでもいい相手であればそこまで考えてはくれませんし、自分のことを考えさせることで相手に自分を意識させることができます。

悩みを一緒に解決してもらう事で自分への好意を強くすることもできますから、些細な事でも気軽に相談したり頼みごとをして頼ってみるというのもいいでしょう。

ただし、一般的に考えてどうでもいいような事を相談して逆効果になってしまわないように注意しましょう。

プライベートで一緒に過ごす時間をつくる

実際の社内恋愛の交際は職場で表に出すことはできません。職場は飽くまで仕事をしに来る場所だからです。という事は、逆に一歩会社から出てしまえば、プライベートな事を表に出してもいいタイミングだという事が言えます。

休日や仕事帰りの食事などに誘うのは仕事をスムーズに運ぶためのコミュニケーション方法としてもとても効果がありますが、相手との関係を深める上でとても大きな効果があります。

相手の予定に配慮しながらも、自分と過ごす時間を少しずつ積み重ねるようにする事で自分との仕事以外での関わりを意識してもらえるようになるでしょう。

行列のできる恋愛裁判所 社内トラブル解決編 [DVD]
エースデュース (2009-08-21)
売り上げランキング: 234,195

まとめ:上司との社内恋愛のきっかけは信頼関係から

自分の面倒をよく見てくれる素敵な上司であれば恋愛対象として意識するのはごく自然なことですが、その上司に自分を受け入れてもらうためにはまず信頼関係を築くことが大前提です。

行動的なきっかけ作りももちろん大切ですが、相手に対して自分の存在を受け入れてもらうための信頼もその上司との社内恋愛をするための大切なきっかけの一つです。

素敵な上司との社内恋愛を成功させるためにも、この今回の紹介内容をお役立ていただければと思います。

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Check Also

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社内恋愛を成就させるためのきっかけの王道は?

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