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恋愛と結婚は別?結婚に繋がる恋愛と繋がらない恋愛

男性にとって恋愛と結婚は別?結婚に繋がるか否かの見極め方法
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男性はよく「恋愛と結婚は別物」なんて言いますよね。これは単純に解釈すると、つい「じゃお付き合いしてても結婚できないの?」とも考えてしまいますが…。実はそうではなく、男性は恋愛中と婚活中では女性を見る目が大幅に違うのです。受け入れにくい部分も多いかもしれませんが、ぜひこの機会にその違いを理解しておきましょう!今回はそんな「男性の価値観」とともに、その恋愛が結婚に繋がるか否かについてを男性目線でお伝えさせて頂きます。ぜひ最後までお読み下さいね。

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男性は恋愛観・結婚観が違う!男の基本を理解しよう

はじめに

あなたならきっと、結婚を意識しない遊びだけの恋愛なんてしないですよね!…でも、男性はちょっと違うんです。男性の基本は「恋愛と結婚はほぼ完全な別物」になります。

これは女性の感覚で言えば、恋愛なら「愛さえあればお金なんて…」、結婚なら「やっぱり結婚には相応のお金は大事」に相当する違いです。もちろん中には本気でお金を無視して結婚する人もいますが…あなたならいかがですか?気にしませんか?

そしてこの違いを「結婚直前まで意識しない」のが男性なんです。このため、どんなに彼との恋愛が上手くいっていても結婚にならないことも多々!今回はそんな男性の価値観とともに、その恋愛が結婚に至るか否かの見極めポイントを男性目線でお伝えします♪

男性にとっての恋愛と結婚の違いとは?ポイント4選

男性の結婚は「恋愛における結果論」

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それでは最初に、男性にとっての恋愛と結婚の違いについてお伝えさせて頂きます。腹の立つ部分もあるかと思いますが、どうぞ心を落ち着けて最後までお読み下さいね。

まずそもそも論として、男性の結婚は「恋愛における結果論」なんです。つまり最初はまるで結婚など意識せず、最終的にたまたま結婚に至っただけ…といった感覚になります。このため、最初から結婚を意識する婚活は「重い」として避ける傾向にあるんです。

というのも男性にとってはそれほど結婚は責任を伴う重いもの!だからこそ結婚に真剣であればあるほどに重さに耐えられずに避けるんです。時代は大分変わりましたが、それでもまだまだ「男が妻子を支えて養うもの」という認識ですからね。まずはここの理解を!

恋愛は容姿だけ。結婚はほぼ上乗せの能力を求める

次に男性は、恋愛においてはほぼ容姿しか女性に求めません。可愛ければその他の全てを許します。ですが結婚を意識すると、途端に容姿以外を冷静に考えるのです。

先ほどのとおり、男性にとっての結婚は「恋愛における結果論」になります。このため、あなたを選んだ時にはほぼ容姿しか見てないからこそ選んだのです。結婚相手候補として選んだ訳ではありません。結婚するには、さらに上乗せの何かが必要です!

しかし同時に、それでもやはりあなたは結婚相手候補になります!なぜなら女性とは違って、男性は「ほぼ確実に容姿に対する条件は抜かさないから」です。容姿はあって当然!そのうえで、例えば「料理が上手い」などを求めるのが男性になります。

恋愛は女性優先で可。結婚は男性優先

さらに男性というのは恋愛中はあなたのことを思い、あなたのことを気遣い、あなたのことを優先します。ですが結婚を意識すると、途端にそれを嫌がるのです。

なぜなら恋愛と結婚では、「男性が出すお金の金額が違うから」!恋愛中は大した金額を出さないからこそあなたを優先しますが、結婚したら自分が大金を出すからこそ自分を優先してほしいのです。もちろん個人差はありますが、ここはくれぐれもご注意下さいませ。

男性は女性に比べて論理的であり、感情面が弱い生き物です。つまり「愛情を金額で測る」「何事も損得勘定で考える」のが男性になります。これは男性からすると一貫性があるのですが…あなたからすると、かなりの違いですよね。

恋愛は「遊び」で、「どれだけ楽しめるか」が大事

そして最後になりますが、男性にとっての恋愛とは「遊び」であり、楽しければそれでいいのです。つまりあなたのことは「大事な異性の遊び相手」といった感じになります。

なぜなら先ほども触れたように、「恋愛中は結婚を意識していない」のだから…。しかし結婚は「本気」であり、途端に楽しさより「癒し・安らぎ・優しさ」などをあなたに求めるのが男性です。ホントにホントに男は身勝手ですね…。

ただこの心理の変わり方は、何となく想像できるのではないでしょうか?そもそも男はやはり、家庭には癒しや安らぎを求めているんです。でも恋愛やデートは基本的に外でしますからね。家ではゆっくり外では活動的に!これが男の基本になります。

結婚に繋がるか否かの見極めポイント3選

彼はあなたのどこにホレてる?

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それではここからは、あなたの彼と結婚に繋がるか否かの見極めポイントについてお伝えさせて頂きます。仮に違っていても、今から修正する余地はありますからご安心を!

まずは「彼があなたのどこにホレているのか」になります。もう少し言えば「容姿以外で具体的に好んでいるポイントがあるか無いか」です。これは先ほどの「恋愛は容姿だけ」に相当する部分ですが、ひとまずあなたには容姿以外に何か売りはありますか?

もちろん容姿以外のどこにホレるかは男性によって様々!そして恋愛中は容姿しか見てませんから、聞いても本人もよく分かってません。だからこそ「ここが好き!」を容姿以外で具体的に言えれば、多少なりとも結婚を意識していると考えられますよ♪

彼はあなたとの恋愛を楽しんでる?

次は「彼はあなたとの恋愛を楽しんでるか否か」です。これは先ほどの「恋愛は遊び」に相当する部分ですね。楽しいのは当然なのですが…それだけですか?

これは実に分かりやすいポイントなのですが、今まで彼はあなたを注意したり、何か矯正をお願いしたり、あるいは弱みを打ち明けたこと等はあるでしょうか?ある程度は男性の性格にも左右されますが、楽しんでるだけならこういった事はまずありません…。

ちなみにこれがしょっちゅうだと、ただのヒステリー男や依存男です。特に出会った初期頃だと、下手すると結婚詐欺ということもあります。ですが付き合いが長くなり、適度にこういった言動が出てきたりすると、それは「結婚を考えてるからこそ」ですよ♪

恋愛中、どこまで彼に負担をかけてる?

そして最後に「どこまで彼に負担をかけてるか」です。これはあなたからすると、恋愛中は気づきにくいかもしれませんが…「恋愛は女性優先」を読み返して下さい。

少し繰り返しですが、恋愛中は男性はあなたを喜んで優先するんです。時間の面でもお金の面でも!時にはあなたが彼に合わそうとしてもあなたを優先するほどに!ですが男性は、自分が勝手にやってるにも関わらず、結婚を意識すると途端にそれを負担に感じます。

少々理不尽に感じるかもしれませんが、レディーファーストは「恋愛限定だからこそ」とお考え下さい。もちろん個人差はありますけどね。同時にそのまま結婚したら、その後は亭主関白になるとも!つまり普通に結婚を意識しているほど、扱いは「対等」になりますよ。

男性の結婚観を意識したお付き合いを!

おわりに

さて、いかがでしたか?何となくでも、男性の「恋愛と結婚は別」という感覚について、見えてきたでしょうか?ひとまず、かなり男女は違いますよね…。

結局のところ、結婚に繋がるか否かは「あなた自身が男性の結婚観に基づいて動けるか否か」になるんです。恋愛ではあなたの方が優遇・優先されます!そのアドバンテージをどこまで捨てられるか…とも言えるでしょうか。レディーファーストのままでは厳しいですよ!

もちろん最初は男性は恋愛しか考えてないからこそ、その方がいいんです!最初から結婚を意識してると「重い」ので。ですが少しずつ男性の結婚観を意識し、自ら言動を変え、それに男性が呼応するかどうかで最終的に結婚の有無を見極めていきましょう♪

あなたが大好きな彼と結婚するために、本記事が少しでもお役立ちできれば幸いです。

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