Home / 暮らし / 人との関係 / 対人関係のコツ / 第一印象&人見知り / 人見知りを克服してリア充を目指そう!ぼっち解消の5つのポイント
考える女性
考える女性

人見知りを克服してリア充を目指そう!ぼっち解消の5つのポイント

考女性

タモリさんの、「人見知りっていうのは、神様が与えた最高の才能だ」という名言をご存知でしょうか。あの「笑っていいとも」を長寿番組に押し上げたタモリさんも昔は人見知りだったそうです。お笑い芸人のナインティナインの岡村隆史さんや大人気のきゃりーぱみゅぱみゅも人見知りを告白しています。

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人見知りの人の特徴

悩む男

①考え過ぎる:”俺が今、こうやったら相手がこう思っちゃうだろうな”とか、”こんなことを言って、変な風に思われたらイヤだな”っていうのを考えすぎてしまって、行動に移せない。

②「警戒心」が強い:傷つきたくない、初対面で相手の事を知らない、という意識が働いて無意識に警戒心が働いてしまう。

③自分に自信が無い:どうせ私なんて、と自信が持てない場合、人とコミュニケーションをとるのが苦手になります。

タモリさんはこの3つの特徴に対してこうコメントしています。

①考え過ぎる:相手のことをまず第一に考えて、『こう言ったら、こう思うんだろうな』と、人のことを考えられるなんて、こんな素晴らしい才能はない。

②「警戒心」が強い:人見知りじゃないと空気が読めない、警戒心の強さは「場」を読む力をつける。芸能人で成功してる人はみんな人見知りだ。

③自分に自信が無い:人見知りは相手を傷つけない様に細心の注意が払える。もう一歩先の行動ができれば、みんなの気持ちを楽しく、豊かにすることができる。それが人見知りだけに与えられた才能だ。

いかがですか。人見知りは悪い事ではありません。むしろ成功する人の特徴と言えるのではないでしょうか。しかし、人見知りでチャンスを逃す事も多いはず。やはり対人関係は豊かにしたいですよね。誰とでも上手く行くリア充になるべく「ぼっち解消」のポイントをあげてみましょう。

「ぼっち解消」のポイント

①笑顔

相手から話しかけられた時に、笑顔で返事をするだけでも、印象はとっても良くなります。心から笑うことは難しいことかもしれませんが、笑顔の状態を作ることだけなら簡単です。「 口角(口の端)を上げて 頭を軽く横に1回動かす」これで外から見たら完璧に笑顔になっています。

②挨拶

相手があいさつをしてこないから自分もしない、ではなく、自分から思い切ってあいさつをする。すると、相手はさわやかな気分になり、次からはあいさつをしあうようになります。気持ちの良い挨拶はその後の会話を楽しくさせます。「何を話そうか」と悩むよりも、とりあえず元気な挨拶を習慣にしてみましょう。

③相手に興味を持って質問しよう

自分から話を回していくのが苦手なら、聞き役になりましょう。そのためには、相手に興味を持って、話を引き出していくことが大事です。

例えば、「ジョギングが趣味で」と言う人に対し、「そうですか」と返せば、そこで会話が終わってしまいます。しかし、「週どれくらい走ってるんですか?」「コースはどの辺を回るんですか?」「音楽を聴きながら走ってますか?」など、ひとつの会話を掘り下げるような質問を投げかけたら、相手「自分の話に興味を持ってくれている」と好感を抱き、続けて話をしてくれます。会話を続けるコツは相手に質問することだと覚えておきましょう。

④隠さず「人見知り」と言おう

人見知りをする自分を恥じるあまり、人見知りをしていないように振る舞おうとして、過剰に反応したり、気を遣いすぎて疲れ、後悔する人がいます。

人見知りをすることは、決して恥ずかしいことではありません。初対面の人には先に「人見知りで」と伝えてしまいましょう。上手に喋れなくても、相手が合わせようとしてくれるはずです。相手になにか質問されたら、ぶっきらぼう答えないよう注意しましょう。緊張してたどたどしくなっても、丁寧に答えれば印象は良くなります。

⑤さりげなく相手を褒める

褒められていやな気分になるひとはいません。すばやく相手の服装や持ち物をチェックして「素敵なバッグですね」「いい柄のネクタイですね」と、相手が身につけているアイテムを褒めて相手を気持ちよくさせましょう。気持ちよくなった相手は自分からいろいろ喋ってくれます。会話作りのきっかけになりますから、普段から積極的にやってみると、対人関係がうまく行きます。

口ベタでもうまくいく! ほめ方の極意
谷口 祥子
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まとめ

いかがですか。芸能人にも意外に多い人見知り。これを克服するには、違う自分を演じてみるという手もあります。いわゆる「ビジネスライク」にお付き合いをするということです。仕事では素の自分でいる必要はありません。職場や学校では「自分がこんな人だったらいいのに…」という理想像があればその役を演じてみるといいかもしれません。

どちらにしても、「笑顔」と「挨拶」は人間関係の基本です。あとは「相手を褒める」を習慣にすれば、対人関係は必ず良くなります。頑張って下さい。

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