歩く女性
歩く女性

女性の人見知りの直し方

歩く

人見知りの女性は多くいるものです。ある意味、女性というのは人見知りするくらいがちょうどいいという人もいるでしょう。でも、本当はもっといろんな人と打ち解けたいと思っているのではありませんか?

人見知りの女性でも、コミュニケーションスキルをあげることで、少しずつでも、多くの人とお話ができるようになるのです。

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人見知りは恐怖心でもある

恐怖

人見知りの女性は、「人と話すことが苦手」という意識を持っていませんか?離すことが苦手だと思ってしまうと、どうしてもそこから先へ進めなくなってしまうでしょう。初対面の人と話すことは怖い。変に思われたらどうしよう・・・という思いから、人に話かけることさえもできなくなってしまいます。まさにこれは「恐怖心」です。

恐怖心を払しょくすることは、なかなか難しいですよね。でも、人見知りだからということを理由にして、内にこもってしまっては、せっかくの人生損をしてしまうことが多くなってしまいます。人と話すということは、自分が変わるチャンスでもありますし、いろんな情報を得られるきっかけにもなりますから、恐怖心をはねのけて、一歩前に進めるように努力をする必要があるでしょう。

陽気な人は自然にできている?

なればいいのにな」なんて、はたから見ると思うことでしょう。ですが、だれとでもお話ができる人の多くが最初の緊張感を乗り越えているものなのです。

誰しもが緊張感をスマートにはねのけられているのは誤解があります。誰だって初対面の人には警戒心を抱いているものですが、それを隠して、話しかけているだけなんですよ。また、話しかけられている相手も、緊張感を持っているわけです。お互い「初対面」ですし、相手だって実は人見知りが激しい人かもしれませんよね?それでも応えてくれるということは、相手も恐怖心や緊張感をなんとなか乗り越えてくれているのです。

無理に話かけるのではなく、話を聴くことから始める。

恐怖心や緊張感を乗り越えろとはいっても、最初からすぐにできるわけでもありません。練習や場数を踏んでようやくできるようになるものです。人見知りの女性は、まずは無理に話をするのではなく、相手の話を聴くことから始めてみましょう。

話し上手にまだなれないのなら、聞き上手になればいい。
無言のままでいられると、「会話が続かない」ということで不快感を与えてしまうかもしれませんが、「はい」「うん」というように、相手の話をきちんときいて、適所に相槌をうつだけでも全然違います。

もし相手の話から自分にとって興味のある話題だったのであれば、そこから話を広げていけばいいのではないでしょうか。これならば、無理をすることなく会話をすることができるでしょう。

上手に話せないというのは、「本当はもっとちゃんと話したい」という思いがあるということです。しかし、そんなジレンマにとらわれて空回りするよりも、相手の話を聴いて、質問をすることから始めれば自然と会話のキャッチボールができるようになります。

自分に自信がないあなたでも必ずうまくいく 素のコミュニケーション術 (Sanctuary books)
ワタナベ薫
サンクチュアリ出版
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まとめ:人見知りの女性のいいところを活かす

人見知りは損をすることばかりだと思っている人もいますが、決してそうではありません。
明るく陽気な人を「いやだ」と思う人は少ないものですが、だからといって万人に好かれるわけではありませんよね。

人間が共通していえるのは、「聞き上手の人を好む」ということ。
正直、自分の話を一方的に聞いてもらいたいと思うのが人間の性ですので、それを「うんうん」と聞いてくれる聞き上手な女性は人に好かれます。ですから、人見知りの女性をいいと思う人もいるのです。

この根本的な部分をぶらさず、かつ話し上手にもなることによって、より多くの人とコミュニケーションが取れるようになるのではないでしょうか。

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