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帽子をかぶる女性の後ろ姿
帽子をかぶる女性の後ろ姿

大人の人見知りの原因と対策のポイント

帽子

 

ある時期になるとほとんどの赤ちゃんが人見知りをします。しかし赤ちゃんだけではなく、大人になってからも人見知りになってしまうという方もいます。それはどうしてなのでしょうか。

こちらでは、人見知りの原因と対策のポイントについてご紹介します。

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人見知りの原因について

大人の人見知りとは

さる

本来、「人見知り」という言葉は赤ちゃんに対して使うものです。人見知りとは、赤ちゃんがママ以外の知らない人に対して抱っこを嫌がったり、顔を見られると泣いたりするという行為です。しかし最近は大人にも用いられるようになっています。大人だと、内気な性格やコミュニケーションが苦手なことを表します。あまりひどいと社会生活に支障が出たりします。

人見知りの原因

では、大人になってからの人見知りは何が原因でしょうか。主に以下の4つが考えられます。

  • 過去の経験
  • 自信のなさ
  • 人間の本能
  • 対人恐怖症

過去の経験

過去のイジメられた経験などから人見知りになる人は多いです。自分の容姿についてからかわれたことが原因でなることもあります。自分を悪く言われているような気になり、他人の目を必要以上に気にしてしまうため、上手くコミュニケーションがとれなくなるのです。自意識過剰な思春期にひどく自尊心を傷つけられたことで、人間不信になってしまったことが原因です。

自信のなさ

誰でも初対面の人に会う時は少なからず緊張してしまうもの。ただし人見知りの人はその程度が強いと言えます。相手は自分のことをどのように感じているのか、相手に自分のことを知られるのが不安などとマイナス思考になることが原因で、人見知りになるのです。相手に対する警戒心や自分をよく見せようとする意識から起こっていると言えます。

人間の本能

私たちには自分の身を外敵から守るための本能があります。この防衛本能は誰でも持っているものですが、これが強く働きすぎると人見知りになることもあります。古代のヒトの祖先はわが身を守るために野性的な本能で危険を避けてきましたが、これは今の人間の中にも根強く残っていて、無意識のうちに人に対して壁を作ってしまうのだそう。この本能が強く働くことによって自分を他人にさらけ出すことに恐怖を感じ、人を避けるようになって人見知りになってしまうということです。

対人恐怖症

大人になってからの人見知りは対人恐怖症が原因になっている場合があります。対人恐怖症は人前に出ると緊張し、他人といることに恐怖を感じてしまうもので社会不安障害の一種です。具体的には赤面恐怖、視線恐怖、自己臭恐怖、醜形恐怖などがあります。しかし人見知りだからといって対人恐怖症であるとは限りませんが、人見知りが悪化したことが原因で発症してしまうこともあります。人と関わるのを恐れるあまり日常生活に大きな支障が生じるようになってしまったら、病院での治療が必要となります。対人恐怖症は治療を行わなければ自然に治るということは難しいです。専門医にかかって認知療法などを取り入れると改善されていきます。

人見知りをなくそう

ありのままの自分を出す

意識を変えることで人見知りはなくせます。よく人見知りするという人は、自分をよく見せたい、ほめられたいという気持ちが強い傾向にあります。良く見せようと力まず、ありのままの自分をみてもらえばいいと思うことが大事です。

自分からあいさつする

まずは自分からあいさつをする習慣を身に付けましょう。相手があいさつをしてくるのを待つ間に緊張は高まってしまいます。自分から思い切ってあいさつをする。あいさつされた相手は必ずあいさつを返してくれます。そうして不安の壁を取り除く練習を重ねていけば、自分の中のハードルも下がってきます。

不安や心配は当たり前と考える

不安や心配といった感情を当たり前として考えましょう。余裕が出来るようになると、必要以上に強く感じていた不安や心配が和らぎます。あとは、場数を踏むことです。たくさんの人と知り合っていく中で、徐々に人見知りが改善されていくはずです。

精神療法

対人恐怖症になってしまっている場合は、森田療法などの精神療法によって、人に会うと不安に陥るというパターンを取り去ることが大事です。心配な気持ちが高じて不安にとらわれてガチガチになっている心を緩める作業がなされます。

人見知りが治るノート
人見知りが治るノート

posted with amazlet at 14.05.13
反田 克彦
すばる舎
売り上げランキング: 9,879

まとめ:人見知りは原因を知って対策しよう

大人の人見知りは内気な性格やコミュニケーションが苦手なことを表します。これには原因がいくつか考えられます。直すためには原因を知って対策をすることが大事です。おさらいしておきましょう。

主な原因

  • 過去の経験
  • 自信のなさ
  • 人間の本能
  • 対人恐怖症

対策のポイント

  • ありのままの自分を出す
  • 自分からあいさつする
  • 不安や心配は当たり前と考える
  • 対人恐怖症には精神療法を

この記事を参考に、人見知りの殻を破っていい出会いを手に入れてくださいね。

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