Home / 暮らし / 人との関係 / 対人関係のコツ / 第一印象&人見知り / 赤ちゃん人見知りの悩み~保育園に入れてもだいじょうぶ?~
働く女性
働く女性

赤ちゃん人見知りの悩み~保育園に入れてもだいじょうぶ?~

働く女性

待望の赤ちゃんを授かって数ヶ月。職場の育児休業は長くて1年です。そろそろ保育園に入れる準備をしなければ。けれど赤ちゃんはひどい人見知りで、母親であるあなたのそばを離れようとしません。泣いてばかりでは保育士さんにも迷惑をかけてしまいそう…お母さんの悩みは深まります。

本記事では、
1 人見知りのしくみ
2 機嫌良く保育園に通えるようになるための3つの魔法
という順序でお話していきます。

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人見知りのしくみ~病気ではありません~

笑う

このあいだまで誰に抱かれてもにこにこと愛嬌を振りまいていたのに、最近になって急に知らない人を怖がるようになった。わが子の変化に戸惑っているお母さんが多いことでしょう。ああ、とうとう人見知りが始まったのね。お母さんのため息が聞こえてきそうです。

けれど人見知りって、ほんとうのところはどんなことなのでしょうか?
まずは赤ちゃんを持つお母さんと少し距離をおいて、べつの視点からみていきましょう。

人見知りは成長している証

「人見知りされちゃった」ほうも、嫌われたようで結構傷つきますよね。親御さんが恐縮しているのも申しわけないですし、この眼鏡がだめなのかしら、もしかして人相が悪いのかも…と悩んだりします。

でもそのときの赤ちゃんの様子を思い出してみてください。あなたの顔をじっと凝視していませんでしたか?そう、赤ちゃんははじめてみるあなたを「この人は誰だろう」と一生懸命考えているのです。お母さんと顔がちがう、声もちがう、匂いもちがう…そしてやがて「お母さんじゃない、いやだ」と泣きだすのです。

ここでお母さんに視点を戻しましょう。赤ちゃんの人見知りを言い換えると、「お母さんのことがわかるようになった」、つまり赤ちゃんがそこまで成長した証であり、過程のひとつであることなのです。

ならば人見知りも一時のこと。過度の心配はいりません。お母さんのことがわかるようになったと成長を喜び、つぎなる変化を楽しみに待ちましょう。だいじょうぶですよ!

機嫌よく保育園に通えるようになる3つの魔法

人見知りは子どもが成長する過程のひとつであること、決して病気ではないことをご理解いただけましたでしょうか?

ではいよいよ実践編に参りましょう。赤ちゃんができるだけ機嫌よく保育園に行けるようになるための、3つの魔法をご紹介しますね。

  • お友だちができればだいじょうぶ
  • 赤ちゃんよりもお母さんが淋しいのかも
  • いまは赤ちゃんとの蜜月

お友だちができればだいじょうぶ

保育園に通う最初の2週間くらいはわけもわからない状態ですが、だんだん「ここに来るといつも会える人がいるんだな」ということがわかってきます。親戚や知人が大勢集まったときの赤ちゃんの様子を思い浮かべてみてください。知らない人だらけのなかで、赤ちゃんがいちばんに近づいていくのは、自分と最も年齢の近いおちびさんではないでしょうか?

そう、赤ちゃんは自分といっしょに遊べそうな人を自然に選んでいくのです。
保育園にはお友だちがいっぱい!そのことがわかってくれば自分から靴を履こうとしたり、保育園へ行くのを喜ぶようになります。

赤ちゃんよりもいお母さんが淋しいのかも

泣きじゃくるわが子を振りきって保育園を後にする罪悪感。ワーキングマザーの誰もが経験することです。気になって仕事に集中できない。保育園に電話してしまいそうになったり、わけもなく涙が出てきたり…。あれあれ、もしかすると赤ちゃんよりも、お母さん自身が淋しいのではありませんか?

赤ちゃんは繊細ですが、大人が思うより柔軟でたくましいところもあります。お母さんのすがたが見えなくなると観念して、目の前の先生やお友だち、おもちゃや絵本に夢中になったりするものです。

赤ちゃんもがんばっています。親御さんも子どもに負けないよう、元気を出しましょう。お父さんお母さんの元気な顔を見れば、赤ちゃんも安心して保育園をエンジョイできるようになります。

いまは赤ちゃんとの蜜月

子どもはあっという間に大きくなり、親の手を離れていきます。人見知りが激しく、かたときもお母さんのそばから離れたがらなかった泣き虫が、お母さんよりも友だちといっしょに遊ぶことを好み、やがて恋人を見つけて巣立っていきます。

ならばほんの少しのあいだ、たくさん抱いてベタベタするのも構わないのではないでしょうか?「手がかかるなあ」と悩んでも数年後には甘酸っぱい思い出です。あなたと赤ちゃんのかけがえのない蜜月を大いに堪能してください。

最後にもう一度、3つの魔法を挙げておきますね。

  • お友だちができればだいじょうぶ
  • 赤ちゃんよりもお母さんが淋しいのかも
  • いまは赤ちゃんとの蜜月
赤ちゃんがピタッと泣きやむ100のコツ―いま、すぐ、試せるコツ満載
主婦の友社
主婦の友社
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まとめ

赤ちゃんの人見知りは成長の過程のひとつです。お母さんとほかの人のちがいがわかるようになり、お母さんにより強い愛情を感じている何よりの証拠。ゆったりと受けとめ、成長を喜んであげてください。嫌がっていた保育園にもやがてなじめるようになります。

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