Home / 暮らし / 人との関係 / 対人関係のコツ / 第一印象&人見知り / 美容室苦手〜。友達の友達は敵、、。意外に多い人見知りあるある!
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美容室苦手〜。友達の友達は敵、、。意外に多い人見知りあるある!

美容院

人見知りだと自分が思ってる人は結構多いようです。しかし、あなたの身の回りで人見知りの方はどれ位いますか?あまりいないのではないでしょうか。「人見知りとは、自分がそう思っているだけの人が多い。」という専門家もいます。

人見知りの人は自分の内面の葛藤は激しいのかも知れませんが、表情に現れないので他人から気づかれにくいのかもしれません。他人へ凄く配慮するのにその気持ちに気づいてもらえない、だからますます人見知りになる、、。こんな悪循環から抜け出せないと悩むようです。

今回は人見知りの人の悩みとよくある行動を調べてみました。

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人見知りってどんな人?

思う

人見知りの特徴はどんな所にあるのか、分からないという方はいらっしゃるかもしれません。そこで、ここでは人見知りをする方の特徴についてまとめてみました。自分が当てはまるかチェックしてみて下さい。

他人と打ち解けるのが遅い

人見知りの方の特徴として、普通の方と比べて他人と打ち解けるのが遅いということが挙げられます。慎重に人を見ているとも言えるので決して悪いと言い切れるわけではありませんが、直ぐに自分を晒すという事が苦手のようです。

他人と目を合わせて話せない

一般的に人は相手の目を見て話すことによって、お互いの感情を確認し合ったり、どのようなことを感じているのか考えていると思われますが、人見知りの方は他人と目を合わせて話すことができず、下を向いて話してしまう方が多いはずです。

人間観察力に長けている

人見知りの方は、人間観察力に長けているという特徴があります。

対人恐怖症の方は、他人自体を怖いと感じたり、嫌いだと考えたりしますが、ここまで症状が進行していないという方は、相手との相性を見分け無意識にランク分けをしているのです。「この人とは友達になれそう」「この人とは上手くいかないな」と考えて自然と距離をとってしまいますし、相手にどのように思われるのか先に考えてしまう傾向があるので、会話を成立させるのが難しいと言えるでしょう。

両親が人見知りだと子供も人見知りになる

これは特徴と言えるかどうか分かりませんが、両親が人見知りという夫婦の間に生まれた子供は、人見知りになりやすいと言われております。これはお腹の中にいる時に遺伝するというよりも、子供は親の背中を見て育つので、親が人見知りな態度をとっていると子供もそれを真似するようになるので、人見知りになるというわけです。

人見知りの人のあるある

「音楽聴いてないのにイヤフォンをつけて自分の世界に入る」

「心の中でトークをする台本を作るが実行出来ない」

「知ってる人と会いたくないから、近所のマックとか気軽に行けない」

「廊下を歩いている時に向こうから知っている人が来ると、わざと遠くに目を逸らして「自分あっちの方に興味ありますから」的雰囲気を出す。」

「お店で商品の場所が分からなくても店員さんには聞かずギリギリまで自分で探す」

「美容室とか、服屋さんとかの店員さんかな話しかけられると、「あっ…はい…」って感じになるw」

「人と話した後何か間違えたことを言っていなかったか三日くらい気にしている、またはあの時こんな話題言っておけばよかったなって時間がたった後に気になってくる。 死にたくなってくる」

「初対面は意外と仲良くなれる。けどその後の会話に詰まる」

「メールを書いてる時間も長いがメールを書くべきか悩んでいる時間はもっと長い」

「本当は誰よりも人恋しい」

人見知りならコレを読め!

あるあるを読む限り、人見知りな人は繊細で優しく、人を傷つけたりしないようです。とっても良い人と言えるのではないでしょうか。人見知りの人に必要なのは、自分の人生計画を立てて人目を気にせず歩いて行く自信をつける事です。ぜひ、この漫画を参考にして下さい。

*「湯神くんには友達がいない」作倉準 小学館発行

あらすじ
主人公の湯神君はとってもマイペースな男子高校生です。友達は必要ない、「基本 群れない」を実践しています。落語が好きで野球部のピッチャーという存在ながら、そのキャラクターゆえに学校で浮いています。転校生のちひろは友達が欲しい、と努力しますが、なぜか湯神君の生き方に惹かれ、、、。

現在4巻まで出ていますが、とても人気のあるお一人様コメディ―漫画です。人見知りどころか、自分中心に物事を考えて行動する湯神君に「あるある!」と共感する方も多いはず。人と無理に付き合わなくても、自分の人生何とかなるさ!とむしろ開き直っても良いのではないでしょうか。

人見知りの解決法

普通に話すことはできるのだが、なんかよそよそしい。なんか遠慮してしまう。親しくなりにくい。今一歩踏み込めない、、。人見知りの人は、相手の気持ちを考えるあまり、自分の事を反省しすぎるきらいがあります。そんな時必要になってくるのが「自己開示」です。「

自己開示」という言葉は多くの方が知っていると思いますが、念のため説明しておきます。自己開示とは、あまり他人に知られたくない自分のプライベートな部分や日頃思っている自分の正直な気持ちなどを話すことです。つまり、自分のありのままをさらけ出すという感じですね。

相手も自分の事を分かって欲しいと思っています。友達が欲しいのはお互い同じです。それなら、ありのままに自分をさらけ出した方が、相手も自分の事をさらけ出しやすくなります。いつまでも愛想笑いと当たり障りの無い会話だけでは、相手も同じ会話しか返してくれません。思い切って、話しやすい人に「実はさ〜」で始まる会話を練習してみて下さい。

ただいま「かくれ人見知り」が平静を装って生活しております。
花津 ハナヨ
文藝春秋
売り上げランキング: 55,295

まとめ

人見知りの人は、繊細で優しく、とても良い人が多いです。人見知りの人はむしろ「友達になりたいNO1」の相手と言えるかもしれません。もっと自信を持ちましょう。人見知りの人は、嫌われるキャラの性格ではありません。むしろ湯神君の様に、堂々と振る舞えばモテキャラに変身する事は充分考えられます。

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