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子供

3歳と赤ちゃんの人見知りには違いがある!

子供

3歳になると保育園や幼稚園に通わせようと考える方が多いです。

年少さんになるこの年は、通園デビューの年ともいえます。

そんな3歳は新たな人見知りが始まる子供が多い年でもあります。

ここでは、3歳の人見知りについて、その傾向を赤ちゃんの頃と比較して説明していきます。

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3歳なのに人見知り?

考える

人見知りというと赤ちゃんがなるものと思われがちですが、3歳という幼児でも激しい人見知りをする子もいるんです。

知らない大人に寄り付かない

代表的な人見知りとしては、やはり知らない大人に対するものです。

赤ちゃんの頃の人見知りというと、母親や父親など身近な人以外の人には関係なく人見知りをするものです。これは母親や父親など自分を守ってくれる人を認識し始めた証拠で、親と他人を見分けることができているということになります。

一方、3歳くらいの人見知りは知っている人かどうかで判断されます。これは初めて会う人に対して警戒しているもので、「この人は知らない人だ」とちゃんと認識できている証拠となります。

初めて会う知らない人でも、たとえば親が楽しそうに会話をしていたりと「安心できる人なんだ」という認識ができれば、初対面でも慣れることができるでしょう。

友達と遊びたがらない

3歳くらいの幼児にみられるのが、友達と遊ばず隅っこでぼうっとしている、という例です。これは同年齢の友達に対して人見知りしているといえます。

赤ちゃんの頃の人見知りでは、友達に対するものというのはほとんどありません。というのも同じくらいの友達が隣にいたとしても、近くに母親などがいれば安心できるからです。

一方、3歳くらいになると友達と遊ぶことに対して慎重になりがちなのです。この頃になると自分の行動範囲などが理解できるようになり、毎日がいわば想定内の日々となります。それが急に友達と遊ぶとなると、他の子供の行動がわからなかったりして自分とは違う行動、つまり想定外のことが起こってくるわけです。

そのため、どうしても慎重になって様子をうかがったり、自分の立ち位置をはかったりするようになります。人見知りとはいっても、友達に近づけないというわけではありません。少しずつ友達との距離が近づいていきますので心配いりません。

ひとり遊びが好き

上記とは異なり、友達と遊ぶこともできるけどひとり遊びを好んでなかなか友達の輪に入っていこうとしない、という場合です。

赤ちゃんの頃は友達と遊ぶことが刺激になります。好奇心旺盛なので友達にも興味があり、一緒に遊んだりじゃれあったりします。

一方、3歳くらいになると、自分の興味・好奇心が向く対象に個人差が出てくるようになります。たとえば友達とワイワイ走りまわって遊ぶのが好きな子もいれば、ワイワイ走り回っている友達を見ていることが好きな子もいます。

自分が好む対象がたとえば自然であったり工作であったりする場合は、どうしても友達の輪にはいらず一人で黙々と遊んでいるという時間が長くなりがちです。でもこれは人見知りではありません。

自分が夢中になれるものを見つけたということですから、周りの大人はそれを認めてあげることも大切です。

3歳までの子育ての教科書
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どれも成長の証

以上、3歳の人見知りについて、その傾向を赤ちゃんの頃と比較させていただきました。3歳くらいに人見知りかと心配してしまいがちな傾向は以下の3つです。

  • 知らない大人には近づけない
  • 友達と一緒に遊べない
  • ひとりでばかり遊んでいる

3歳くらいの幼児の人見知りは、赤ちゃんの頃の人見知りとは傾向も理由も全然違ってきます。特に空気を読んだり周囲を伺ったりすることができるようになっているという点が一番違いを感じられます。

人見知りをするかどうかというのは個人差が大きいものですが、人や場所に慣れる時間というのも個人差が大きいものです。

3歳から保育園や幼稚園に通わせようと考えている場合は、その前にそういった場に慣れる練習をしておきましょう。たとえば児童館といった施設で同年齢くらいの友達と遊ぶ時間を作る、初めて会う大人でも関わりを持つことができるようにいろんな大人に会わせる、などです。

急に人見知りが始まったからといって心配する必要はありません。お子さんの立派な成長の証だと思って、あたたかい目で気を長くして付き合っていってください。

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