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ハート 恋

一目惚れしたらどうする?人目惚れの心理とアプローチ方法

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あなたは人目惚れした事がありますか?ぱっと見てちょっといいな。と思う事はあっても、「これが運命の人だ!」とはっきり感じる事は少ないのではないでしょうか。

「人目惚れ」とは、案外勘違い、誤解から生まれる事もあります。ロマンスを壊すようで申し訳ありませんが、「人目惚れ」は無意識上の勘違いの場合が多いのです。とは言っても恋愛の始まりは人それぞれ。今回は「人目惚れ」の心理とアプローチ方法について考えてみましょう。

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人目惚れする時

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人間は初対面のたった数秒で相手を見極め、瞬時に好き嫌いを判断する動物です。その時の本能とも言える感情が、長い付き合いの中でも続いていくと言われています。その数秒間が、大変重要といえるでしょう。

①相手が自分に好意を寄せている時

初対面でにっこり挨拶してくれた、自分を憧れるようなまなざしで見つめて来た、、。たったこれだけでも、人目惚れは起こります。人間は自分に好意的な人間に好意を寄せる習性があります。

捨てられた犬や猫は、拾ってくれた飼い主に愛情を返すように、人間も他人から愛されたい、見つめられたいという願望を持っているので、ちょっとした親切でも、まるで恋愛感情を持っているように錯覚してしまうのです。

②共通点がある

自分と同じ本を読んでいた、自分の好きなブランドの商品を持っていた、、。こんな偶然が重なると、まるで運命の相手のような錯覚をおこしがちです。人間には、自分に似た共通点を持つ人は、無条件で受け入れてしまう心理があります。

サッカーや野球で同じチームが好きだと、それだけで友達になってしまう事がありませんか?人目惚れも同じです。共通点のある異性には、瞬時に好意寄せてしまう傾向があります。

③見た目が好み

やはりこれが一番多いかもしれません。背が高い、胸が大きい、髪が長いなど、身体的特徴も人目惚れには重要です。人は見ためが9割、というのは、心理学的にも当たっているのです。

自分の好みは生まれつき、匂い、経験など多様な人生経験と遺伝子情報から出来ているので、一概に見た目だけで判断するのもどうかと思いますが、一番本能が働いているので、見た目で人目惚れしたカップルは別れる率が低いという報告もあります。

人目惚れした時のアプローチ法

*相手の情報を集める

ターゲットを射止めるには、まず情報収集は欠かせません。グループ交際のなかで人目惚れした場合は、共通の友人から情報を聞き出せますが、何も知らない相手の場合は、連絡先や名前からfacebookやツイッターを駆使して相手の趣味や好み、自分との共通点がないか情報を集めてみましょう。

*接近する

人間はいつも一緒にいる人を好ましく思う傾向があります。いつも一緒にいると親近感がわいて、恋愛に発展する事は大変多いのです。社内恋愛はその典型といえるでしょう。

人目惚れした相手と、自然にいつも一緒に行動できるようなアプローチを考えて下さい。同じジムに通う、バイト先を同じにする、共通の友人を作るなど、恋愛は接近しないと始まりません。

*相談する

女性が男性に言い寄るときのパターンで、成功率が高いのが、「相談があるんです、、。」男性はたいていの場合は女性に頼られる事を喜びます。「相談」という行為は「2人っきりで話し合いたい」という事ですから、一気に2人の距離を縮めるチャンスです。

これで夜お酒でも入ったら、恋愛モードに突入する準備は万端です。しかし3回2人っきりで会っても何もない場合は、恋愛ではなく、友情に移行する可能性が高くなります。鉄は熱いうちに打たなくては、ただの友達で終わるかもしれません。

人目惚れの注意点

人目惚れは誤解から、錯覚からおこる場合が多いので、やはり、内面を知らないと恋愛に発展した時に思わぬ修羅場になるかも知れません。大人しそうな女性がヒステリーだったり、優しそうに見える男性が亭主関白だったりと、人は見かけによりません。

まずよく相手を知り、二目惚れをしてから恋愛を開始したほうが後で痛手が少ないといってもいいでしょう。

そして注意点の2つ目として、一目惚れをした相手ほど競争力は高くなることも覚えておきましょう。これも当然のことなのです。倍率の高いところに一斉に行くにはかなり恋愛力も必要ですし、スタミナなども必要ですのでかなり大変です。

そしてもてる人ほど小悪魔系がそろっていることが多いので、一筋縄ではいかないことのほうが多いです。自分が傷つく確率もかなり高いことも覚悟しておくと良いでしょう。

一目惚れの科学 (ディスカヴァー携書)
森川 友義
ディスカヴァー・トゥエンティワン
売り上げランキング: 34,320

まとめ

いかがですか。人目惚れは案外多いようですが、実際に付き合ってみないと、本人の性格や自分に合うかどうかは分かりません。恋愛の始まりとして人目惚れしても、真剣に付き合う時は見た目より性格を重視する事が、恋愛を成就するコツといえるかもしれません。

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Check Also

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成功確実!一目惚れした相手にアプローチする方法5つ

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