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一目惚れ結婚が上手くいきやすい理由と本当のところ

「一目惚れをした」、「一目惚れをされた」。こんな経験はありますか?よく聞くセリフでは「雷に打たれたよう」、「相手が光って見えた」など、なんだか神秘的です。

映画やドラマでもおなじみのシーンですね。一目惚れの経験がない人もショッピングの途中、洋服やバッグを一目惚れで買ったことはありますよね。

理屈ではない一目惚れで結婚したカップルもたくさんいます。しかも多くの一目惚れ結婚は通常の恋愛結婚よりも上手くいっています。そこには人間の深層心理が働いていたのです。

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出典:google

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美男美女だけじゃない?一目惚れ心理

一目惚れの理由を「顔のつくり」だけだと思っていませんか?一目惚れには容姿以外にたくさんの要素が含まれています。

明るい笑顔、クールで知的な雰囲気、上品な言葉遣い、たくましい肉体、気遣ってくれるふとしたしぐさ、ご飯をおいしそうに食べる姿など。

「いったいなぜ私に一目惚れ?」と思っているあなたは雰囲気美人なのかもしれません。
いくら美男美女でもツンツンしていたり、不潔そうに見えると一目惚れどころか好意すらもってもらえませんね。

一目惚れが成立しにくい美男美女

美男美女どうしは一目惚れをしにくいといわれています。その理由は私たちの体に組み込まれた遺伝子に関係がありました。

人間は本能で、より優秀な遺伝子を子孫として残したいと感じています。人間が1番最初に目がとまるのは「顔」です。

大きな目、通った鼻筋、長いまつげ、きれいな肌などの遺伝子を、美男美女は生まれつき持っているので、相手の顔を見て欲しいと思える遺伝子が少ないのです。

美しい子孫を残すことだけが人間の本能ではありませんが、私たちは自分にない遺伝子を補うことで、さらにすぐれた子孫を残したいのです。そのためもっとも遠い遺伝子を欲しがるのです。

背が低い人は高い人を、目が小さな人は目の大きな人を。人間の本能で求めているのです。美男美女が一目惚れをしにくいのは、本能が相手の遺伝子を求めていないところにあったんですね。

一目惚れのメカニズム

相手の性格もよくわかっていないのに「大好き!」と感じる謎。一般的な恋愛は心で相手を好きになりますが、一目惚れは脳で相手を好きになっているのです。

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出典:google

幸せファイルの整理

過去の幸せだった記憶を思い出してください。目で思い出す記憶、耳に残った響き、匂いでよみがえる思い出など、私たちは五感で「幸せ」を脳にインプットしています。

一目惚れをしている瞬間、脳は相手の情報を感知して記憶の中にある幸せ情報を探します。そして、「昔つきあっていた大好きな人に似ている」、「過去に優しくしてくれた特別な人と同じだ!」と記憶データを探しあてます。

「自分が幸せを感じた記憶」と「そのときの相手とどれだけ似ているか」を脳はスーパーコンピューターのようにたたき出し、一致させます。

脳にインプットされた記憶の情報と、相手の情報が一致した場合に脳は「大好き!」と判断しているのです。

一目惚れ結婚が上手くいく理由

一目惚れがきっかけで結婚を決めるとき、かなりの勇気が必要ですよね。一目惚れをされた相手に「結婚してください」と言われても困ってしまいます。こちらが一目惚れをした場合も「一目惚れれで結婚したいなんて迷惑かも・・・」とためらってします。

お互いが結婚を決めたとしても、両親や友だちに理解してもらえないかもしれませんし「気の迷いだ。」と反対される可能性もあります。そんな一目惚れ結婚ですが、上手くいく理由はたくさんありました。

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出典:google

一目惚れ結婚の離婚率

日本では夫婦の3組に1組が離婚をしています。夫婦の30%が離婚している計算になり、なんと2分に1組が離婚をしているのです。

「一目惚れから始まった結婚は上手くいく」という実験データがあります。一目惚れカップルのおよそ70%が円満に夫婦生活を継続させているのです。

一般的な恋愛結婚の離婚率が40%なのに対し、一目惚れ結婚の離婚率はおよそ5%しかないのです。このように数字で見ると一目惚れ結婚がとても上手くいっているのがわかりますね。

一目惚れ結婚は加点法

一般的な恋愛では、相手に好かれるためにその理想像を演じなければいけません。好かれるためにがんばり、嫌われないように努力する。あなたも似たような経験がありますか?

恋愛結婚をした夫婦が離婚をしてしまう理由に減点法があります。「理想の人だと思ったのに、どんどん違ってきた」「優しい性格が好きだったのに最近は優しくない」など、友だちのグチを聞いたことはありませんか?

一目惚れ結婚はそもそも始まりから相手が理想のタイプです。なのでお互いを知れば知るほど加点法になります。存在そのものが理想なのです。ですから「こんなにいい一面もあった!」と相手をますます好きになります。

一目惚れ結婚は東大合格

2人の男女がお互いを同時に一目惚れすることは少ないかもしれませんが、片方が一目惚れをするケースは多くみられます。一目惚れをした方は、相手は自分の大好きな理想像ですので猛アタックをします。

やっと出会った理想の相手、なんとかして付き合いたいです。共通の知り合いにアプローチを頼んだり、頻繁に電話やメールをしたり、デートをくりかえし誘ったり、相手の好きなものをプレゼントしたり、振られても振られても何度も告白したり・・・。

一目惚れをした当人にとって相手は東京大学です。日本最難関です。努力を重ね、やっと合格できた東京大学を簡単に中退する人は滅多にいませんよね。

努力してつき合えた相手だから、簡単には嫌いになりませんし別れません。別れてしまったら努力が水の泡になってしまいます。

一目惚れ結婚が上手くいくのには相手の努力の積み重ねにもあるのです。

いつまでも自慢の結婚相手

あなたは一目惚れで買ったワンピースを簡単に捨てますか?きっと今でも汚れないように大切に保管し、特別な日に着てみんなに見てもらいたいと思っていますよね。

一目惚れ結婚はそのワンピースと似ています。いつまでも特別な存在で、一緒にいるだけで気分がいい。「みんなに自慢したい」そんな結婚相手となるのです。

一目惚れは結婚がスタート

恋愛結婚は「結婚」そのものがゴールになってしまうケースがよくあります。特に女性にとって結婚はステイタスであり将来の安定を意味するので、「早く結婚しなければいけない」と思い交際相手と結婚がしたいのか、単純に結婚がしたいのか本人にもわからない状態で結婚してしまう場合があります。

結婚後に「こんなはずじゃなかった。」と後悔するのは恋愛結婚に多いです。一目惚れ結婚は、結婚してから相手の性格をゆっくり知るので結婚はゴールではなくスタートとなります。

お互いをよく知ってから結婚しているはずの恋愛結婚。そんな恋愛結婚の離婚理由の第一位は性格の不一致です。矛盾しているように思えますが、つき合っているときと結婚後による「性格のギャップ」が理由です。

一目惚れ結婚にはこの「性格のギャップ」がありません。

感謝の気持ちを忘れない

一目惚れからスタートした結婚生活は一般的な恋愛結婚より上手くいきやすい要素がたくさんあります。きっといつまでも相手を大事に思ってくれるでしょう。

そんな一目惚れ結婚ですが、「結婚してあげた」という気持ちでいては相手にもそれが伝わります。そしてもちろん相手は悲しい気持ちになります。

大切なのは、「結婚してくれてありがとう」という気持ちや「こんなに好きでいてくれてありがとう」という感謝の気持ちを忘れないことです。

「運命の赤い糸」は脳科学と心理学で実証されていました。「あなたの遺伝子が欲しい」なんてプロポーズ、素敵ですよね。

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