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一目惚れの相手への効果的なアプローチの方法

迷路

好きになった人とどう距離を縮めていくか、それはどんな恋愛でも大きな悩みの一つですね。それが一目惚れの相手だったとしたら尚更です。どこにどんな接点があるかも知らないわけですし、連絡先を知っているわけでもありません。そんな相手と距離を縮めるという事はとても勇気がいることです。

今回は、一目惚れの相手へのアプローチで失敗してしまいがちな事と、アプローチするうえで相手との距離を効果的に縮めることができる方法を紹介していきましょう。

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アプローチが失敗する原因

一目ぼれの時に失敗してしまう原因の殆どは、なりふり構わず自分の想いを受け入れてもらいたいという身勝手な感情から出る行動にほかなりません。いきなり相手の事を考えずに行動してしまうと、思いを叶えるどころか嫌われてしまう事もあり得ます。では、一目惚れした時のアプローチでタブーとされるのはどのような事なのでしょうか?

いきなり告白

驚く

いきなり好きです、付き合ってください、などと言われても、この人は自分のことをよく知らないはずなのに一体どこが好きなのだろう?としか考えられませんよね。場合によっては不気味に思われてしまう事もあります。

相手も自分に一目ぼれしてくれていればいいのですが、なかなかそう簡単にはいきません。まずはゆっくりと相手との距離を縮めていくことが第一歩となるのです。

焦って相手の事を知りたがる

興味を持っていない相手に自分のことをあれこれ尋ねられたら、誰だって気分のいいものではありません。「急いては事をし損じる」です。ゆっくり時間をかけてお互いのことを知りあっていくからこそ信頼や人間関係を築いていけるという事を覚えておきましょう。

一方的な感情表現

四六時中自分の想いを伝えて受け入れてもらいたい、この恋を叶えたいという場合の行動です。確かに異性に告白されれば誰でもきっと嬉しく思うことでしょう。しかし、それが再三にわたって続くとちょっと鬱陶しく感じてきてしまいます。

感情表現が豊かな人と言うのは確かに他人を引き付ける魅力があります。しかしあまりにその感情表現が過激だったり行き過ぎてしまうと、最悪の結果近づくだけでも違法という事態にさえなりかねません。何より相手の気持ちを考えてこのようなことは控えたほうがいいでしょう。

相手への思いやりが足りない

自分の相手に対する思いが先行してしまって相手の事を考えられなくなってしまうと、とんでもない失敗をする羽目になってしまいがちです。相手に自分の想いを受け止めてもらい、自分に好意を持ってもらうには、相手のへの思いやりの心が不可欠です。

どんな状況でも相手を思いやる気持ちはいずれ自分に返ってくるという事を覚えて行動するようにするといいでしょう。

一目惚れの相手へのアプローチ

一目ぼれのアプローチは、タブーとされることの内容から見ても徐々に互いの距離を縮めていくことが望まれるという事が言えます。では、具体的にはどのようにしていけば相手との距離を効果的に縮めていけるのでしょうか?

連絡先の交換

一目ぼれの場合、ほぼ間違いなく相手とは赤の他人でしょう。という事はそのチャンスを逃したら、相手とは二度と会えなくなるかもしれません。何とかして連絡先を交換したいものです。

共通の知人がいるのであれば、その知人に頼んで交換してもらってもいいでしょうし、もちろん自分から連絡先の交換を申し出てもいいでしょう。

ただし、相手に驚かれるような聞き方はNGです。自然な振る舞いで、自分の気持ちはまだ心にとどめておくようにしましょう。

いきなり二人きりで会おうとしない

まだよく知りあっていない相手の誘いにはなかなか素直になれないものです。それが異性ともなれば、なおさら腰が引けるというものです。

いきなり二人で会おうといわれたら、ほとんどの人は抵抗感を覚えることでしょう。でも、「今度みんなで・・・」という風に切り出されたらどうでしょう?多少は行ってみようかな?と考えますよね。

最初のうちはいきなり二人で会うのではなく、友人や知人に協力してもらうといいでしょう。その場合には、カップルの知人が好ましいと言えます。横槍が入る心配もかなり減りますし、一緒に行動する仲間に恋人同士がいるという事で相手も自分に対して恋愛対象として見てくれるようになる可能性があるからです。

自分の人脈で協力してくれる人がいるのであれば、積極的に協力してもらうようにお願いするといいでしょう。

自分のことをゆっくり知ってもらう

恋愛対象として見てもらう前に、まずは自分が一体どういった人間なのか理解してもらうということが大切です。

自分が逆の立場だったらどうでしょう?この人は信頼できる人なのか?この人はどんなことに興味があるのか?この人にとっての好き嫌いはどんな事なのか?知り合っていくほどそういった疑問が浮かび上がってきますよね。

相手に自分のことを知ってもらうという事は、自分の存在を受け入れてもらう事につながっていきますから、自分の事をよく理解してもらうという事が大切になるわけです。

相手をきちんと理解する

昔から「恋は盲目」なんて言葉があります。一目惚れに限らずよくありがちな事ですが、相手を自分の理想に当てはめて決めつけてしまわないように気を付ける必要があります。自分の中で相手への想いを大きく膨らませることは素敵な事ですが、実際には相手の事をきちんと理解してあげられなければ相手を傷つけてしまう事になりかねません。

相手との人間関係を築いていくためには、相手の事をよく理解することが大切です。「愛情の第一歩はまず相手の事をよく知ること」だという事を意識して行動するようにするといいでしょう。

真剣であることを伝える

ある程度人間関係が築けたころになってくれば、相手にも自分の想いが多少なりとも伝わっていることでしょう。人間関係が築けているにも関わらず相手が気付いていなかったら、その人は相当鈍感なのでしょう。

互いに過ごす時間が増えてくれば、自然と相手にもその行為は徐々に伝わっていくものですが、自分のその思いが真剣だという事を伝えることが大切です。

いよいよ告白というときに、まっすぐ目を見て話されたらこの人本気なんだなってきっと思ってくれることでしょう。初めは一目惚れでもその気持ちは真剣なんだという事を伝えることで、きっと相手も自分のことを真剣に考えてくれるでしょう。

好意を伝えたら相手の態度をよく考える

告白した後に、相手を困らせるような態度をとってしまい失敗するケースがあります。強引に詰め寄ったり、返事を急かしてしまったり、といった具合です。

相手にしてみれば多少考えることはあったとしても、もしかしてぐらいしか考えていなかったでしょう。つまり突然告白されたのと左程は変わらないという事です。

自分にとってはずっと伝えたかった想いでも、相手にしてみれば初めてここから考え出すことだという事を忘れないようにする事が肝心です。好意を伝えた後も、相手を思いやる行動を心がけるようにするべきでしょう。

一目惚れの科学 (ディスカヴァー携書)
森川 友義
ディスカヴァー・トゥエンティワン
売り上げランキング: 42,292

まとめ:一目惚れのアプローチは丁寧に

行動を焦らないという事が、一目惚れの相手への上手なアプローチ方法だという事が言えます。自分にとってはもう出来上がった感情かもしれませんが、相手にとっては思っても見ないことだという事を忘れないようにして、決して先走ることのない様に慎重にアプローチしていきましょう。

最後に、ポイントをおさらいしておきますので、ぜひ素敵な一目惚れの成就に役立てていただければと思います。

  • はじめは連絡先の交換から
  • いきなり二人で会おうとはしない
  • 自分のことをゆっくり知ってもらう
  • 相手をきちんと理解する
  • 真剣であることを伝える
  • 想いを伝えたら相手の態度をよく考える

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